and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
