Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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