if you like me you must not know who I am
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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