Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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