i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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