just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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