It's like God shit irony all over that family
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
