She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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