we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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