i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
