Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
