i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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