I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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