His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
