I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
