If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
