I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
