I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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