Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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