No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
