why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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