You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
