Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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