I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
