even my farts smell like vagina
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My vagina just recognized that song.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
