i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
