I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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