i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize