well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
