My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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