question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
