I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
