God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
