I got chris browned last night
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
