Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
