That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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