Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
