We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
