I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
