Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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