Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
