So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
