Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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