all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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