We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
