barbara walters just said penis...
i will never coherently bang her
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
