There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
