I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize