I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
