I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
